How Have We Changed in the Past Year?

“Change” this word by itself does not imply something positive or negative. Things can get better or worse. So when we ask, how have we changed this past year? Ideally, we should reflect on the positive, the negative, and even the neutral shifts in our lives.

But that is not always what we do.

The Asymmetry in Self vs. Other

O’Brien and Kardas (2016) found that our judgment of change differs when thinking about ourselves versus others. When evaluating how our friends have changed, we tend to consider both improvements and declines. In contrast, when we reflect on our own change, we almost exclusively think of positive developments. The implicit question becomes: how have I improved?

Quite literally, when participants in the study were asked to rate how positive or negative the word “change” feels, they rated it as more positive when thinking about themselves than when thinking about a friend.

Why We Default to Positive Change

This positivity bias is rooted in our motivation to see ourselves in a favorable light. We are driven to believe that our lives are constantly progressing—that we are always becoming better versions of ourselves. The idea that our lives may have worsened, even in certain aspects, is frightening.

Because of this, thinking about how we have changed often gives us a boost in happiness, sense of meaning, and satisfaction with life. Essentially, thinking about how we have changed from our pasts can enhance how we perceive our presents. 

But What About Negative Change?

Alas, if you've read this far, perhaps the next time you reflect on change, you won't be thinking only about the positives, and it won't be as rosy anymore. However, reflecting on other types of changes is essential for a variety of domains, such as health or relationships. To get things right, despite the pain, we might want to bring to mind how things got worse.

To end, I want to quote the original paper:

“In principle, the concept of change simply comprises the ways we have grown different from who we had been before, for better and for worse. However, in practice, it instead distinctly reminds us just how much we have grown.”